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Shone s  and  the  Bones 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 

IN  MEMORY  OF 

PAUL  TURNER,  U.S.M.C.R. 

KILLED  IN  ACTION,  SAIPAN 

JUNE,  1944 


AND   THE 


1861. 


SHONES 


AND   THE 


IB 


SHONES  AND  THE  BONES. 


In  Roxborough  some  mould'ring  bones, 
Unmarked  by  monumental  stones, 
Had  lain  for  seventy  years  at  least, 
Unnoticed  both  by  man  and  beast, 
And  not  a  soul  had  seemed  to  care 
Whose  or  whence  these  old  bones  were  ; 
When  vague  reports  began  to  spread 
Respecting  the  neglected  dead : 
That  our  most  glorious  revolution 
Supplied  for  them  the  best  solution, 
And  that  their  owners,  it  was  plain, 
By  British  hands  had  there  been  slain. 

This  tale  soon  reached,  as  it  appears, 
Our  friend  Oorayshur  Shones's  ears  ; 
Warm  feelings  in  his  breast  arise, 
And  patriot  fires  light  up  his  eyes. 


"  What  !"  cries  th'  enthusiastic  Shones, 

"  No  monument  o'er  these  old  bones  ! 

We  will  have  huge  sepulchral  stones, 

Pyramids,  obelisks  and  cones, 

As  surely  as  my  name  is  Shones. 

My  breast  is  rent  with  dismal  groans, 

Thinking  of  these  neglected  bones. 

Beyond  the  shadow  of  a  doubt 

Some  Whigs  have  here  been  put  to  rout 

Belonging  to  brave  Lee's  brave  legion, 

(I've  heard  it  once  was  in  this  region,) 

And  here  they've  been  allowed  to  rot, 

Without  a  stone  to  mark  the  spot ! 

'Tis  fit  the  present  year  atones 

For  the  vile  slight  to  these  old  bones ; 

Old  Eoxborough  shall  now  correct 

Older  Virginia's  long  neglect ; 

We'll  have  a  glorious  demonstration, — 

Volunteers,  fireworks,  an  oration, 

Which  I  will  speak,  as  I'm  a  sinner, 

And  brother  Charles  shall  find  the  dinner. 

(All  know  the  wine-vault  and  the  larder 

Add  much  to  patriotic  ardor.) 

The  Richmond  Whig  and  the  Enquirer 

(Of  which  I  am  a  great  admirer,) 


Shall  forthwith  edify  the  nation, 
By  publishing  my  whole  oration." 

'Twas  soon  arranged  it  thus  should  be ; 

(Americans  enjoy  a  spree.) 

The  military  were  invited, 

And  sent  word  they  should  be  delighted 

To  bear  their  full  part  in  the  meeting, 

(Meaning  the  drinking  and  the  eating) ; 

The  country  girls  and  country  beaux 

Laid  in  supplies  of  brand-new  clothes, 

And  Koxborough  was  all  agog 

To  hear  the  speech  and  eat  the  prog. 

The  ever-glorious  Twenty-second 
Of  February,  Shones  had  reckoned 
The  fittest  day  for  the  event, 
And  every  body  seemed  content. 

The  morning  came,  but  in  the  gloom 
Of  clouded  skies  Shones  read  his  doom, 
And,  direr  still,  before  two  hours 
The  rain  came  down  in  pelting  showers  ; 
The  spot  where  patriots  shed  their  blood 
Was  two  feet  deep  in  slush  and  mud. 


The  hour  comes,  the  trains  arrive, 

The  passengers  scarce  seem  alive  ; 

Rain  streams  from  bonnets,  caps  and  hats, 

The  soldiery  look  like  drowned  rats ; 

The  beaux  bewail  their  clothes,  the  girls   • 

Lament  the  sad  state  of  their  curls  ; 

And  Shones  arises  and  postpones 

The  honors  meant  for  the  old  bones, 

But  begs  the  company  to  wait 

The  inner  man  to  recreate  ; 

Within  the  school-house  they  would  find 

Some  drink  and  victuals  to  their  mind. 

In  rushed  the  crowd,  with  hungry  stomachs, 
And  made  quick  work  with  creams  and  jellies : 
Fish,  flesh  and  fowl  soon  disappeared, 
In  half  an  hour  the  board  was  cleared  ; 
Such  lager,  brandy  and  champaigne, 
Roxborough  ne'er  shall  see  again. 
Though  all  were  soaking  to  the  skin, 
They  soon  were  just  as  soaked  within  ; 
Justice  was  done  to  the  collation, 
And  no  one  missed  the  great  oration.   , 

It  was  postponed  three  months,  but  some 
Think  that  the  time  will  never  come 


For  laying  the  foundation  stones 
Or  listening  to  Oorayshur  Shones 
Descanting  on  the  martyr*s*bones. 

There  lately  came  from  Illinois 

An  aged  man  who'd  been  a  boy 

In  Roxborough  sixty  years  ago, 

Who,  hearing  of  the  intended  show, 

Declared  it  all  a  great  mistake, 

A  bubble  he  would  quickly  break 

With  the  plain  truth.     The  facts  were  these 

Five  or  six  colored  F.  F.  Y.'s, 

In  seventeen  hundred  eighty-eight, 

Disgusted  with  their  servile  state, 

Kesolving  north  to  emigrate 

In  Freedom's  search,  took  to  their  scrapers, 

Were  advertised  in  all  the  papers, 

With  wood-cuts  setting  forth  the  figures 

Of  these  incorrigible  niggers. 

In  Roxborough  they  spent  their  days, 

Untouched  by  censure  or  by  praise, 

And  little  thought  their  humble  bones 

Would  exercise  Oorayshur  Shones. 


NOTE. 

The  monument  being  finally  erected,  was  adorned  with  the 
following  appropriate  and  highly  classical  inscription. 

THE  UNION 


ESTO  PERPETUA. 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 

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